Facing Mom Guilt
Mom guilt is REAL!!
I have lived with so much Mom guilt since becoming a mom!
Am I doing the right things?
Am I teaching my kids the right things?
Should I work, or shouldn’t I?
Unfortunately, there isn’t a handbook to this parenting thing and there is no right or wrong answer. We do the best we know how- yet somehow many of us beat ourselves up over our day-to-day existence as a mom!
I always thought my mom was the perfect, quintessential mom that was always with me, teaching me things, doing things with me and providing whatever we needed and wanted! So, in my eyes, after becoming a mom, I never felt like I could live up to that. I was working and starting businesses- how could I be there for my kids. So, I struggled back and forth daily between being a stay-at-home mom and wanting to pursue my career.
But one day last year, I asked my Mom why I couldn’t be half the mom that she was- what was I doing wrong?
She laughed so hard, but I couldn’t understand why. She then described all the millions of other things she used to do…
She would leave me at the gym daycare and get her self-care in almost daily.
She would get a neighborhood babysitter to come in if she needed to run errands.
She did what she needed to do to make sure we were safe but also get the things done that needed to get done.
The funny part was that I don’t remember any of that. I just remember the time she lied on my bed and did math flashcards with me, and the times she would hold me and rock me when I felt bad, and all the times she taught me life lessons that I am now teaching my own kids.
Then it hit me…
kids only remember the things that impact their lives the most.
Those little blips of her leaving me at a gym daycare for an hour or two, or getting a babysitter, those moments didn’t phase me and therefore, I only remember the amazing mom moments.
When I heard that—I really started realizing the moments that my kids remember even now- it isn’t the incredible hand-made birthday cakes that took hours upon hours to make. It’s the little moments that are dedicated to them.
What I started realizing is that, it is about being present in each moment you can, not about being available all the time. My kids are only remembering certain moments- so being with them 24/7 doesn’t make sense and it made me only half there every time. Present in body, but not in spirit! I was doing all the right things to care for them, teach them, be there when they needed me, but something always felt missing- empty!
Stay tuned to see what needs to happen for you to fill that emptiness….
asha
featured family photo | amy crosby photography